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聽朋友抱怨，一群人追著一顆球踢，然後拼命的想要把球拱進白色方形大網，整場比賽超過兩小時可能只有十次那樣的機會，而成功的次數不到兩次，有什麼好看？
又有人跟我抱怨，還有另外一種運動，是九個人輪流拎著木棒走上場，要對超高速急襲而來的拳頭大小白球揮擊，但是有超過一半的時間看著球進來不揮棒、一但揮棒卻有七成的機會揮空，這種比賽有什麼好看？
或許吧，上面兩種運動對不感興趣的人來說相當無趣，但休閒有趣的地方只有對他感興趣的人才會發現；就拿世界上目前最多數人玩的一種休閒活動是：
要花三年的時間接受學齡前教育，
然後花超過十二年、甚至十五年以上的時間接受正規教育（這佔了我們生命的1/5以上時間，對某些不幸的人甚至是他生命的1/3），
接下來拿著自己之前十五年的努力成果，開始運動場上的「得分」，但是往往百分之九十的人得分總計居然比不上任何一個從另外百分之十中挑出來的人，
在努力和得分不成正比的情形下，我們還得把一部分的分數從比賽場上扣除－－否則在我們因為衰老而不能比賽的時候，將會有慘澹的場下生活，
當然，上面都是假設在我們有得分的情形之下，其實有更多的人連上場比賽的機會都沒有，只能搖旗吶喊，而且不可能有記者會去採訪他們：「請問先生你支持哪一隊呀？」
這真是一種可怕的運動，比足球、棒球、馬拉松長跑都還要可怕。
--
下面的轉錄文章純屬搏君一笑，請勿在自己的家裡蓄意張貼，試圖警告女友or妻子，一切後果概不負責。
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World Cup rules for women - LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the Sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way
or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.
3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game - as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on. And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do
not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties, send-offs, weddings or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
p.s. please dont ask us to explain what an "off-side", "free kick", "golden goal" are...you have had ample time to ask before the World Cup. maybe after a game...take note...."maybe"
又有人跟我抱怨，還有另外一種運動，是九個人輪流拎著木棒走上場，要對超高速急襲而來的拳頭大小白球揮擊，但是有超過一半的時間看著球進來不揮棒、一但揮棒卻有七成的機會揮空，這種比賽有什麼好看？
或許吧，上面兩種運動對不感興趣的人來說相當無趣，但休閒有趣的地方只有對他感興趣的人才會發現；就拿世界上目前最多數人玩的一種休閒活動是：
要花三年的時間接受學齡前教育，
然後花超過十二年、甚至十五年以上的時間接受正規教育（這佔了我們生命的1/5以上時間，對某些不幸的人甚至是他生命的1/3），
接下來拿著自己之前十五年的努力成果，開始運動場上的「得分」，但是往往百分之九十的人得分總計居然比不上任何一個從另外百分之十中挑出來的人，
在努力和得分不成正比的情形下，我們還得把一部分的分數從比賽場上扣除－－否則在我們因為衰老而不能比賽的時候，將會有慘澹的場下生活，
當然，上面都是假設在我們有得分的情形之下，其實有更多的人連上場比賽的機會都沒有，只能搖旗吶喊，而且不可能有記者會去採訪他們：「請問先生你支持哪一隊呀？」
這真是一種可怕的運動，比足球、棒球、馬拉松長跑都還要可怕。
--
下面的轉錄文章純屬搏君一笑，請勿在自己的家裡蓄意張貼，試圖警告女友or妻子，一切後果概不負責。
--
World Cup rules for women - LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the Sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way
or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.
3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game - as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on. And please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game" or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break-up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the adverts are on, and only if the score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do
not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties, send-offs, weddings or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, English Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
p.s. please dont ask us to explain what an "off-side", "free kick", "golden goal" are...you have had ample time to ask before the World Cup. maybe after a game...take note...."maybe"
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