Ocean & Mt. Forever

北漂，現代漢語新名詞，指漂流在北京的外地知識青年。該詞彙不僅流行於口頭，已經被正式出版物使用，如《逍遙遊》（李師江著，遠方出版社2005年出版）。

北京是中國首都，是中國的政治中心，也是科學與文化中心。許多外地青年知識分子都希望到北京闖一番人生事業，來到北京尋求各種發展機會。
－Wikipedia

在ChinaHush第一次認識「北漂」這個字眼，隨手翻譯了以下這篇文章。


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北漂們，願意父母來探望你嗎？

Beipiao：北漂，原意是指「在北京漂泊的人們」。他們通常沒有在北京設籍（永久居所），從中國的其他城鎮來到此地，尋找功成名就機會。北漂，也意味著一種在北京流浪的生活態度。

My mother came, stood at the exit of the Beijing train station, waving at me. I took her bag, my father followed in silence. I took them to eat Peking duck, my mother said, “Ay, going to get fat again.” I frowned in anger and said, “You can eat less then.” She picked up the chopsticks and said, “You should have said I am not fat.” Afterwards, she stood in the street of Beijing, looking at me cautiously, and asked, “Where are you taking us?”

我娘來了，站在北京車站的出口處猛招手。我接過她手上的提包，爹則跟在後頭不發一語。我帶他們去吃北京烤鴨，母親開口說：「哎，又要變胖了。」我眉頭輕蹙答道：「那就少吃些。」她重拾筷子說：「你應該安慰我並不胖呀」；後來母親站在北京的街頭，小心翼翼的盯著我瞧，然後問道：「接下來打算帶咱們去哪？」

How do I know? I was very impatient, why did they come? Ask all the Beijing vagabonds busy running on the streets of Beijing: do you wish your parents to come to see you? Perhaps half of them will have the same answer as me, shaking their hands and say, no, forget it. Because no matter how you “guard and defend” to hide all sorts of unpleasantness, it only takes one look from them, they can see though that you are a low-status Beipiao who is straggling and fighting for the future. No rice in the kitchen, no blanket on the bed, shampoo is all used up in the bathroom, a thick pile of takeout menus on the table, everything is in a mess that displays the gloomy life. We have a precarious life, constantly having to worry about tomorrow and the next meal, but we also want to save some face in front of our parents. You know, the words which has the most “killing power” is: if not living well then hurry up and go home.

我怎麼知道？我幾乎失去耐心，為什麼他們要來？你去車水馬龍的路上問問那些北漂們：「你希望父母來看你嗎？」大概超過半數的人會搖著手回答你：「免了吧。」因為無論你再怎麼層層捍衛，都難以遮掩種種不美好。他們只要一瞥，就能發現其實你只是個卑微的北漂、正為了未來艱苦地打拼。廚房裡米缸已經見底，床上沒有鋪蓋，連浴室的洗髮精都用得精光，厚厚一疊外送點餐單堆在桌面；每一件事情都像陳列這慘澹的人生，永遠都在為明天有沒有下一餐而煩惱－－但是，我們也想在父母面前保留僅存的一點顏面。你知道的，有句殺傷力十足的話：「如果過不下去，就趕緊回家吧！」

A friend of mine might be trying to express his dedication to his career at the time, when his parents came to Beijing he just worked and did not even accompany the parents to go out once. He said, 「I am really busy」. Now he regretted, 「should have treated them better」. But he said that he probably will do the same next time since they come very often. Some people had calculated and came up with an estimate that you (Beipiao) probably can only see your parents 20 times or so, but so what? Anyway, the worst is there will be no next time; no one seems to be thinking about cherishing.

我有一位朋友，他大概是想表現自己有多麼認真在工作上頭，在父母來到北京探望的期間仍埋首於事業，甚至連跟雙親出外一次的機會都沒有，他說：「我真是忙翻了，」但如今感到後悔，「我應該對他們更好一點。」但他又說，「下一次爹娘來時大概還是這副德性吧！反正他們老愛來看我。」有些人統計過，你們（指：北漂）一輩子大概只能見到父母二十次，但那又如何？在見親人最後一面之前，沒有人會感到珍惜。

My mother is not even 50 years old. She looked at my room for a while at the door then started cleaning agilely. Dug out all my dirty clothes and shoes, mopped the thick layer of dust on topped my TV, picked up an empty alcohol bottle from the corner and said, “You are incredible, drinking by yourself?”

我娘甚至還不到五十歲。他站在我房門口環顧室內半晌，旋即俐落地動手打點起來。翻出我所有的髒衣服跟鞋子，把電視機頂端一層厚重的灰塵抹淨，揀起角落一罐空酒瓶，問道：「這是怎麼回事！你一個人喝這些？」

My mother started to ask me questions, where the comb was, if I have eaten dinner, if the clothes needed to be folded. Deviated from her comfortable environment, she seemed to be confused and bored out of her mind. These were clearly not the words she used to say. I pretended to be busy in order to avoid those more serious topics, for example, She would say, “You are now 25 already, why do you still spend everything you have, what are you going to do later? You still don’t have a boy friend? When are you planning on to get married…”

接著她開始問我問題，梳子放在哪裡？晚餐要吃什麼？衣服要不要摺好？母親一旦脫離了慣於生活的舒適環境，就顯得有些無所適從，而且打心底感到煩悶。這一切顯然不是如她當初所說：「我只是來玩的」那樣簡單。我裝作忙碌的樣子，好逃避一些嚴肅的話題，好比是她常說的：「你已經二十五歲了，怎麼還老過著月光族的日子？這樣之後怎麼辦？你也還沒找個男朋友，什麼時候才打算結婚……」

In fact, after 12 hours, I already felt tired of it. The feeling right after attending a luxurious party at the World Trade, after getting to know all kinds of rich people, getting to see all kinds of luxury items, when the midnight bell sounded, traveled through the entire city to get back to the rental home, suddenly realized that I am only a low-status Beipiao that only makes a few thousand a month. When you saw your mother dressed awfully, that overcautious way of walking, deep down you knew clearly that she was just an ordinary middle-aged woman who has the unique small town rustic style. You once worked so hard to get rid of that look, even now you still carry the great dreams and determined not to compromise with that kind of rustic, but your mother reminded you a thousand times, that is you.

事實上，在十二個小時過後，我已經對這感到厭煩了。感覺就像是剛從世貿參加完一場豪華派對回來，認識了一大票名流人士，瀏覽滿屋子的奢侈陳設；當午夜鐘聲響起，穿越整個城市回到租屋處，我剎那間理解到自己仍然只是下層社會裡月入四千元的北漂。當你看見自己母親穿著寒磣，以戰戰兢兢的姿態行走；你深深了解到她不過是一個普通中年婦女，有著鄉村裡那種特有的愚騃。你曾經奮力拼搏想要擺脫那樣的樣貌；即使到了今天仍懷抱著偉大的夢想，堅決地不跟那種土里土氣妥協。但從母親的身上卻看見一遍遍的提醒，那就是妳自己。

So in the end, we had no choice but to hope them to leave quickly, only to become a worry in the telephone, and continued to dream the success and the fame one day, to pick her up in style, to give her everything.

儘管到最後，我們除了寄望親人早點離開之外別無選擇，那將會化作電話鈴響時的殷殷關切，並繼續幻想著有一天子女功成名就之時，會將她風光迎來此地，給予她希冀的一切所有。

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看完這篇故事，我腦海裡浮現幾首早年歌曲，無論是向前行或者鹿港小鎮；訴說的也都是在城鄉發展差距拉大時，群體聚落所呈現的必然拉力與推力，年輕人渴望的夢想與冒險刺激，似乎都在明滅不定的霓虹燈火裡耀現了。

但我更想知道的是，如果二十年過後，這些「北漂」們又將漂往何方？